Why Bikes Are Better Than Women

Posted by Joshua S. Hill

July 13, 2007

Some of these may be a little crude… but I’m just gonna copy and paste… ignore the ones you don’t like…

The only protection you have to wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helmet.

You can ride a bike any day of the month.
You can upgrade your bike, component by component, as you can afford it.
If you get tired of the way your bike looks, you can just paint it.
You get detailed specifications, before you buy.
You can share your bike with friends.
You don’t have to move into a bigger apartment just to hang a bike from the wall.
Bikes don’t care how many other bikes you have ridden.
When riding, you and your bike always come at the same time.
The name is printed on the frame in nice big letters in case you forget.
Bikes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
You can impress your buddies with the quality of your bike by letting them take it for test ride.
If someone steals your bike, you can get a better one the very next day.
If you say things to your bike you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You don’t have to take a shower before riding your bike.
You can adjust the riding position in 1 mm increments until it’s completely comfortable to ride for days on end.
You can ride a bike for three years without feeling like you have to keep it until you die.
If anything doesn’t work the way you want, you can get it fixed at the local bike shop for $24.95.
You don’t have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.
Your parents won’t remain in touch with your old bicycle after you discard it.
If you get a new bike you don’t have to keep sending money to the old one.