Friends… to have or have not…

Posted by Joshua S. Hill

August 17, 2007

Coffee with Megan tonight shed some light on what may or may not be a public opinion of me that I had hitherto been unaware of. It was an innocuous comment, possibly said through a haze of thick chocolate and exhaustion, but truthful nonetheless?

Oh, guess what… I know someone with less friends than you!

Funny what a comment like that can make you think… and you would be forgiven for thinking that I am now in some self-pity spiral of despair. Rather I am at a point where I am weighing up the need for a social circle as wide as Montana. Do I really need to have a social life that means I’m out every night of the week and getting to the weekend exhausted? I think not… especially when it would mean not being true to who I am.

I feel that, despite the fact that at the moment those who I call close friends are the closest friends I’ve ever had, the day that I go to university will be the day when I finally find those who I can associate best with. For at the moment, … meh! Granted, that all said, I wouldn’t have it any other way at the moment… Megan, Will, Claire, Owen, James, Jess, etc… they’re some of the best! And just because none of them (with the possible exception of Will) are willing to delve in to the intricacies of international politics or physics does not mean that I feel anything less, it just means that I am interested to see what will happen when I meet people who do want to delve in to those issues.

All of that though, stems from my original belief, and that is that I don’t actually need to have a huge circle of friends. For me, maybe it is just a case of… hard to work… but I think that with God by my side, I needn’t actually worry. Sure it would be nice to have a whole heap of friends, but maybe, just maybe, right now in my life, I’m meant to be here on my own!

That goes too for a female attachment… without being nasty or critical of anyone else, I doubt I’ve met anyone ever who would fit me… granted, my view of who would fit me includes classical music, fantasy, technology, world of warcraft and a liberal view of Christianity with a penchant for disobeying authority figures. So maybe I’m asking for too much… or, maybe I’m just willing to wait and not settle!

Well… as with my “Why I’m not in NZ” post that has now disappeared in to the mists of obscurity, I find that by writing something out has given me a clearer perspective on what I’m feeling. So Megan, I hope you had a good night tonight, I’m going to go work… or play WoW… I’ll let ya know!

Josh

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